Wonderful Christmas Gifts
by Hobbit-Sized Writer
Summary: Fifth in my "Something Wonderful" series. Bilbo has trouble finding the perfect Christmas present for Thorin. He decides to ask his friends and family for help. Modern AU!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello folks!**

**This is the fifth part of my series "Something Wonderful". I will post a new chapter every day until Christmas. I haven't finished most of the chapters yet, so I'll be focusing on writing for the next couple of days. I hope to get everything done on time. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

** 29 November 2007**

If there is one thing Bilbo Baggins is not good at, it is finding appropriate Christmas presents. Every year he wracks his brain trying to come up with good ideas. He doesn't even have that many people to give presents to. Usually he ends up in the overcrowded city centre two days before Christmas in a desperate last attempt to gain inspiration.

This year he actually started early. New gardening scissors and a pair of gloves for his father, a new shopping basket for his mum (she has been complaining to him about her old and broken one for months now, and Bilbo knows when to take a hint), a set of wooden farm animals for Fili (Bilbo is a little concerned at the lack of packaging the toy comes with. Fili is at that age where an empty box holds more interest than expensive handmade toys) and he has already started working on a pair of knitted socks for his friend Bofur. Bilbo once told him that if he doesn't ever take off his hat, he should at least wear nice socks. Bofur receives a new pair every Christmas and on his birthday.

Bilbo is a little proud of himself for being so far ahead of schedule this year, having already purchased most of the items or at least knowing what to get. The only person Bilbo has not found a gift for yet, is Thorin. And he is very disgruntled and just a little stressed out about this.

This is going to be their first Christmas together and it has to be absolutely perfect.

They have already agreed to spend Christmas Eve and the next morning with Bilbo's parents before going over to Dis and Vili's for dinner with the entire Durin family. Bilbo has met some members of the Durin family. Fili, Dis and her husband of course. And Dwalin and his brother Balin. Dwalin is not only Thorin's best friend but also his cousin. At least that is what Thorin told Bilbo but the curly-haired man is sure that the relation is a little more complicated than that since Thorin had mentioned once that his father had not had any siblings. The Durin is quite extended actually and Dis mentioned that at least fifteen people will be attending the Christmas dinner. Bilbo has no idea how he is supposed to handle any of them. At least Ori will be there. He and Dwalin just celebrated their two-months anniversary and they even managed to convince Ori's oldest brother Dori of Dwalin's worthiness.

Since the Durin family is such a large bunch and they seem to enjoy food almost enjoy food as much as Bilbo does, although, what he has heard, they are all rubbish at cooking, Bilbo has decided to treat them all with his mother's famous Christmas biscuits. He has scheduled two full days to get the baking done.

It seems like Bilbo has almost everyone covered: His parents, Fili, the entire Durin clan.

But he has absolutely no clue what to give his love as a present. The curly-haired man went out last weekend, telling Thorin that he had some boring errands to run, and drove into town to get inspired. Bilbo browsed the shops for hours, dodging overly welcoming shop assistants and hundreds of other shoppers on his quest to find the perfect gift. But so far he has had no luck.

A scarf and some gloves are way too boring and too cliché. Besides, Thorin already owns at least twenty different scarves and just as many pairs of gloves in matching colours to go with the scarves. Bilbo is one of those people that lose their gloves at least once a week and he considers himself lucky if he can find twogloves in his wardrobe at once, leave alone a pair that matches. And gloves matching his scarf? That is just completely ridiculous, considering that he would have to purchase a new scarf with every pair of gloves he buys. And then wouldn't he have to match his hat as well?

Anyway, gloves and scarves are definitely not items that Thorin "Oakenshield" Durin is in dire need of.

Maybe a book? But Thorin is not the most avid of readers, only sometimes browsing Bilbo's extended collection for some novel or other before abandoning it after three chapters. He just does not possess the patience or passion to finish a book before becoming distracted.

He doesn't even need a new coffee machine. His old one broke very recently and he bought himself a new one on the same day. Bilbo outright refuses to put one of those monstrosities up in his own kitchen so that Thorin can have his perfectly brewed coffee or cappuccino or espresso or whatever it is he likes to drink in the morning whenever he comes over. There just is not enough space for a monster like that in Bilbo's kitchen, thank you very much. Thorin just has to be satisfied with the ten-year-old coffee machine Bilbo dug out of his cellar for Thorin to use.

So, no book and no coffee monster.

New kitchen appliances? There sure is need for those in Thorin's ridiculously small kitchen. But the man does not actually like to cook. So Bilbo would just gift himself since he is the only one that actually uses Thorin's kitchen. Except for the coffee making of course. That is entirely Thorin's area.

This is not getting him anywhere.

Bilbo decides to get some advice.

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><p><strong>Note: My experience with deaf people and the Deaf culture is very limited (non-existent to be exact). This entire scenario is based on research, lots and lots of research. So if there is anyone out there that has more experience than me and finds something that doesn't make sense or is complete bollocks, please do not hesitate to contact me. I'm very motivated to learn more about this topic, not only for the sake of these stories, but to broaden my horizons and satisfy my personal curiosity.<strong>

**As this series goes on, there will be more and more sign language used.**  
><strong>British Sign Language is in no way related to the English language and has its own grammar and sentence structure. Since I am not fluent in BSL and for the sake of the reader, the parts that are meant to be in BSL will be translated into English to not disrupt the flow of reading.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**3 December 2007**

_A mind-blowing fuck. All night long._

Bilbo rolls his eyes and takes the notepad back. Why he thought Dwalin would be a good person to ask about gift ideas is suddenly beyond him. He quickly scribbles a response while keeping one eye trained on the lifts that lead up to Thorin's office. It just wouldn't do if the man suddenly showed up to find his lover and best friend exchanging notes about potential sexual encounters. Bilbo shows the other man his notepad.

_That's what you'll tell him to give me when he asks._

Dwalin only shrugs as he can't argue with that. Bilbo suddenly smirks and adds another thought.

_And it wouldn't be anything special. We have mind-blowing sex all the time!_

Dwalin scrunches up his nose in disgust. He loves to tease Bilbo and Thorin about their sex life but whenever Bilbo and Thorin start talking about it, he just wants to cover his ears and eyes to block them out. Because then the idea of them shagging becomes very real all of a sudden.

The shorter of the two men shakes his head in amusement. Teasing Dwalin is one of his favourite pastimes. Right after having mind-blowing sex with Thorin.

Well, maybe not right after. But he certainly tries to annoy Dwalin as much as he can. Bilbo lifts up the notepad again.

_And a mind-blowing fuck better not be the only thing you get Ori for Christmas. _

Dwalin furrows his eyebrows in consternation and rips the notepad out of Bilbo's hands.

_Why not?_

The smaller man rolls his eyes and grabs the paper back.

_Because that's not what he wants. Not the only thing at least_

Dwalin clearly has no idea how civilised conversations on paper work because he grabs the pen before Bilbo has completely finished writing (proper punctuation is important and every sentence needs a full stop), and starts scribbling, his body oddly twisting around the shorter man since Bilbo is still holding the notepad.

_What does he want? TELL ME!_

Bilbo grins. He lifts up his left hand and rubs his fingers together. Dwalin nods eagerly.

_Yes, I'll pay you! Just tell me! PLEASE!_

Wow, he must be really desperate. Dwalin never uses _please_. At least not when he is interacting with Bilbo. That is their mutual agreement. No niceties needed.

In that moment a familiar figure steps out of the lift across the hall.

Thorin lets his gaze wander around the room and spots his best friend, the person he was looking for, and, to his surprise, his boyfriend standing a little off to the side, partially hidden by the giant Christmas tree that Dis insists on placing in the entrance hall of their office building every year. Even with his curls hidden underneath a dark blue hat, Bilbo is still very recognisable. He is wearing his bright orange winter coat that makes him stand out from the crowd and gives him the slight resemblance of a giant pumpkin.

Bilbo sees Thorin approaching and waves, the notepad he had used to communicate with Dwalin quickly disappearing in his coat pocket. He skips over to meet Thorin and greets the taller man with a kiss.

Thorin smiles and tugs the hat off Bilbo's head to nuzzle his nose in his lover's curls. He doesn't even care that there could be people watching him, people he works with, potential clients, the gossiping cleaning lady. How could he care about any of these people when there is this lovely, beautiful man wrapped in his arms?

_"What are you doing here?" _he asks eventually, once they have separated.

Bilbo beams at him. _"I missed you. Dwalin sucks. Let's go have lunch." _

The taller man glances at his friend. Dwalin has made his way over and is now standing behind Bilbo, his large arms folded across his chest. Thorin sighs. Those two cannot be left alone for two minutes.

He turns to his beloved. _"It's barely ten. We can't go to lunch. Don't you have work?"_

Bilbo shakes his head but does not offer a detailed explanation.

Dwalin finally loses his patience and clears his throat rather loudly. He glares daggers into the back of Bilbo's head, obviously waiting for the shorter man to turn his attention back to the topic they had been discussing. Realising that the clearing-once throat-to get-someone's-attention method is not going to work on a deaf man, Thorin places his hands on Bilbo's shoulders and gently spins the curly-haired man around to face Dwalin.

Bilbo's shit-eating grin is back and he lifts his hand up to rub his fingers together again. Dwalin groans and reaches into the back pocket of his trousers to retrieve his wallet. He waves a five-quid note in front of Bilbo's face but the short man only shakes his head and raises his eyebrows.

"What are you doing?" Thorin asks from behind him, watching in wonder as his best friend adds another five-pound note to the one already in his hand. Bilbo only gives him an incredulous look.

"What if I said that I'm paying him for sexual favours?" Dwalin grumbles before offering Bilbo even more money. The curly-haired man cocks his head from side to side and then shrugs, grabbing the twenty pounds from Dwalin's large hand and stuffing the notes in the pocket of his orange coat.

"Ori not living up to your standards anymore?" Thorin teases and takes a step back to avoid Dwalin's attempt at punching him. Bilbo uses his distraction to get his notebook back out and make the page he and Dwalin had been using disappear. Better not let Thorin read what they had discussed.

Dwalin is still trying to get a good punch at his friend and Bilbo swiftly steps to the side to give them free range for their upcoming fist fight.

By the time they are done squabbling, Bilbo is almost done with Ori's wish list. Not all items on the list are strictly speaking things Ori actually wants but it is always a joy to see Dwalin get flustered. He adds _A mind-blowing fuck. All night long _to the bottom of the list and underlines it three times.

With a grin he hands the list over to Dwalin who grabs it eagerly. Before the tattooed man can enquire about details, Bilbo is already halfway across the room, dragging Thorin behind him.

_"Lunch now. My treat. I just made twenty quid and I want to spend them."_

Dwalin is left to wonder why Ori would want a pair of hot-pink oven gloves and where he can get some.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**7 December 2007**

Bilbo offers Dis the tin of biscuits when she opens the front door. She stares at the unannounced visitor for a second before her gaze drops to the item in the short man's hands. Her face lights up in recognition of Bilbo's fine cuisine and waves him inside.

She leads him into the kitchen, opening the biscuit tin on the way to inhale the sweet aroma of the baked goods inside. Bilbo waves at Fili, who is playing in the living room. The two-year old gets up and comes running over at the prospect of a visitor with a loud "Unca Biwbo!". He trips over his trouser legs when he is halfway across the room and smacks onto the floor but is back on his feet only a second later. The curly-haired man picks the small boy up and hugs him before sitting down in one of the kitchen chairs with Fili in his lap.

Dis puts the kettle on and watches as Bilbo offers her son a biscuit. Fili squeals in delight as he chews. "Mo! Mo bicit!" he yells once he is done and slumps forward to reach the tin. Bilbo only raises his eyebrows at him and wriggles the fingers of his right hand in front of Fili's face. The two-year old giggles and then holds his hands up, palms facing his body before moving one of his hands slightly forward, the sign for _"more"_. Bilbo nods in understanding and hands out another biscuit. Fili presses his hand to his chin and then moves it forward and down for _"Thank you."_

Dis is amazed at how fast Fili is picking up on the sign language even though he is not exposed to it every day. Just by watching Bilbo interact with her son she has actually managed to pick up some signs herself. She feels bad for not being able to communicate with Bilbo properly except writing and she is therefore surprised that he has suddenly shown up on her doorstep without Thorin in tow. Her brother usually acts as interpreter whenever the two of them come over.

The curly-haired man meets her gaze with his warm eyes and grins before wriggling around in his chair, one arm slung around Fili to keep him from falling, the other extracting paper and pen from his jeans pocket. He supplies the boy on his lap with another biscuit before bending over to write something down.

"Ma! Biwbo bicit!" Fili exclaims as Dis sits down at the table. The toddler shows her his half-eaten biscuit before stuffing it in his mouth. "Are they yummy biscuits?" She asks him and accepts the notepad Bilbo slides across the table towards her. Fili giggles. "Yum bicit. Fee wuv Biwbo."

"Make sure you tell him that," Dis says before turning her attention to the note in her hand.

_I need your help. I have NO idea what to get Thorin for Christmas._

She looks up and finds Bilbo watching her with a hopeful expression, not seeming to care that Fili is pulling on his dark blonde curls. Dis sighs. Thorin is not an easy person to get gifts for. She scribble a response.

_I always get him a tie._

Bilbo is not happy with that answer as he immediately wrinkles his nose in irritation. Dis shrugs.

_Well, he does wear a lot of ties._

Fili tugs on Bilbo's hair again. "Unca To here?" the toddler asks and looks around to make sure he hasn't missed any other visitors in his excitement over the biscuits.

"No, Uncle Thorin is not here, baby," Dis tells him and Fili slumps back into Bilbo, almost causing the two of them to fall off the chair. The curly-haired man tightens his grip on the small boy and offers him another biscuit to get him to let go of his hair. Then he pulls the notepad closer.

_Not very romantic though, is it?_

Dis nods in agreement. The kettle goes off on the counter and she gets up to prepare the tea. It gives her a couple of minutes to think about the problem at hand. As she is pouring water into the second mug, Fili starts giggling behind her. Dis turns around and smiles. Her son is standing on Bilbo's thighs, his pudgy hands pressed to the man's cheeks as they make faces at each other. They are both laughing hysterically by the time Dis returns to the table with two mugs of tea in her hands. She grabs the abandoned pen and paper.

_You could always get him one of those hideous Christmas ties. Some even play music!_

Bilbo snorts when he reads her words and then blows a raspberry on Fili's cheek. Thorin would just think him mad and immediately toss the tie in the bins and Bilbo along with it. Dis is not to be deterred though.

_I'll pay you 50 quid if you get him one and then make him wear it to work. _

Bilbo shakes his head but the mental image of Thorin wearing a Christmas tie in a meeting with his business partners amuses him quite a lot.

_He would rather use that tie to strangle me before anyone saw him with it. Not sure I want to risk it._

He extracts a biscuit from the tin and brings it up to his mouth. Fili grabs it from his hand at the last second and takes a bite. Bilbo pouts at him. The toddler giggles and presses a crumbly kiss to the man's cheek before offering him the rest of the biscuit.

Bilbo lets him manoeuvre the baked good into his mouth and they grin at each other. Dis watches as they fall victim to a minute-long giggling fit.

Soon after, Fili pulls the curly-haired man into the living room to play with his wooden train tracks.

She gets the feeling that Bilbo's hunt for Christmas presents is abandoned for the time being and decides to take advantage of his presence in the house to get some gift wrapping done.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**12 December 2007**

_"I think you should just knit him socks," _Bofur signs as his brother places a pint in front of him.

He and Bilbo are sitting at a table in the back of Bombur's restaurant. The curly-haired man texted him a couple of days ago, asking to meet him for lunch sometime this week. Bofur had hoped Bilbo had something exciting to tell him, like a wedding announcement or a pregnancy, but it turned out to be Christmas presents. Not really something Bofur is an expert at.

Bilbo patiently waits till Bombur has safely deposited the tea tray on the table before glaring at his friend.

Bofur shrugs, completely unfazed by all this fuss about Christmas presents and gulps down some of his beer. He is, to the surprise of nobody, wearing his ancient hat, the ear flaps sticking out to the sides, probably due to the crust of filth that covers the entire thing, with two braided pigtails peeking out underneath. How he manages to look like a homeless person that hasn't showered in three months without actually being a homeless person, and why he would want to look like that, is a mystery still to be solved.

_"I like the socks. Your Thorin will like them too," _Bofur goes on. _"They are warm and comfy. I wear them every day."_ He starts howling with laughter at Bilbo's expression of utter disgust, scrunched-up nose and everything.

_"I don't know if he even likes knitted socks," _Bilbo admits finally, slumping down in his chair as if in shame. His friend can only roll his eyes at the pessimism.

_"If your Thorin is anything like the man you described to me, he'll love whatever you give him. Socks, empty milk cartons, dirty underwear-"_

Bilbo interrupts him. _"Why would I give him dirty underwear?" _

Before Bofur can come up with a response, Bombur shows up with their food. He hands out soup and sandwiches before he plops himself down in the chair next to his brother. _"Bofur is right," _he signs. _ "Thorin will be happy no matter what you give him. Don't spend all your time coming up with the perfect present." _As an afterthought he adds, _"Maybe not dirty underwear though."_

Bilbo drops his head in defeat and absently stirs his soup with a spoon. He only has twelve days left to come up with something. So far nobody had been able to help him. And Thorin has not dropped any hints about what he wants either.

A chunk of bread hits him square in the face and he lifts his gaze to glare at Bofur. Glaring is a frequent activity when Bilbo is in the presence of his best friend.

_"Cheer up," _the man with the hat tells him. _"I should be the one pouting here. You never gave any thought to _my _Christmas presents, even when we were together."_

Bilbo huffs. _"Because you were actually happy with getting dirty underwear for Christmas. You didn't have any when we met and then you kept stealing mine."_

Yes, Bilbo and Bofur had been a couple for a little over a year when they were still at university. In the end, they decided that their friendship was stronger than their romantic love for each other and they went back to being just roommates and best friends.

_"And I still wear them today," _Bofur announces proudly. Bilbo can only groan while Bombur rolls his eyes. He often wonders how sweet, respectable Bilbo managed to live with his brother for over three years without giving into the temptation of killing Bofur with his bare hands.

_"Can we please stop talking about underwear?" _Bilbo asks as he eyes Bofur's pint with great interest. Maybe he should have gotten one for himself. He would not be the first person to be driven into alcoholism after hanging out with Bofur. _"I need serious advice." _

_"You've come to the wrong person then," _Bombur replies merrily. _"Have you ever seen Bofur give serious advice to people?"_ Bilbo slumps down in his chair. He has to agree with that. His best friend is all happy-go-lucky with his constant smile and inappropriate songs, not someone you could rely on for serious business.

_"Well, what does your Thorin like?" _Bofur asks in an attempt to prove his brother wrong. Or maybe he just likes to wind Bilbo up. _"Besides having sex with you." _

He earns himself a knock over the head for that. "What?" he exclaims and turns to his brother. "Sex with Bilbo is amazing. I can't blame Thorin for liking it." Bombur smacks him again.

The curly-haired man across from them sinks even further down in his chair and watches the two brothers bicker. He resigns himself to his fate and briefly considers drowning himself in his soup.

So far nobody has been able to give him a useful clue for the perfect Christmas present. Sex, ties, socks and underwear. Not very promising.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**16 December 2007**

As a last resort Bilbo decides to consult his parents. They have been married for over thirty years, so they should be able to give him some advice about giving gifts to one's lover.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. He is regretting it now. Bungo and him are sitting in the woodshed out in the garden. They originally came out here to admire the new snow shovel Bungo purchased yesterday. Since then they have moved on to more important topics. Like Christmas presents.

_"You know, there was this light blue set that I really liked. It had this lovely flower pattern that reminded me of our garden and it was just perfect. I knew it would look just beautiful on your mother."_

Bilbo can only stare as his father gives him a very detailed description of every single piece of lingerie he has ever bought for his wife.

_"-and then one time we were, you know, getting busy and, I think this happened when you went on that school trip to Germany, a good week that was, and we were in the kitchen and we decided to do it right then and there and she was wear-" _Bilbo bolts out of the shed and back into the house, barely stopping to pull off his boots before he sprints up to his old bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

He drops face first onto his old bed with a huff and rubs his eyes. He will need to figure out a way to get the bleach from the laundry room without encountering either of his parents. His brain is in great need of a good wash.

Bilbo is still lying on the bed and trying to forget the mental images that branded themselves into his memory forever when his mother opens the door and switches the light on and off a couple of times to alert him to her presence. Her son groans and buries his face in the pillow but does not acknowledge her otherwise.

"My poor baby," Belladonna coos and sits down on the edge of the bed to run her hand through Bilbo's hair. Just like she had always done when her son was younger and in need of comfort. She doesn't know what upset him. Bungo is still outside in his shed. Did they have a fight?

Bilbo sighs and lets his body relax under his mother's touch. He is desperately trying not to think about anything he just learned about her and her underwear and her having sex with his father in the kitchen. Who knows what else they got up to when he went away on school trips. What do they do now that they have the house all to themselves all the time? He groans again and turns his head to press the heels of his palms into his eye sockets.

His mother tries to pry his hands away so she can actually have a conversation with him but he refuses to budge. He will never be able to look her in the eyes again!

Belladonna sighs. She can hear her husband making his way up the stairs. When the door opens behind her, she turns to face him. Bungo's head appears in the doorway, he is obviously reluctant to enter the room. He frowns when he spots his son stretched out on the bed with his wife rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"What happened?" Belladonna asks. "Did you two have a fight?" Bungo shakes his head quickly and opens the door a little further. "He asked me about Christmas presents," he explains and shrugs. "Apparently he has no idea what to get Thorin."

"And what did you tell him?" his wife enquires, when he doesn't elaborate. She has a distinct idea where this is going.

"I told him what I got you for Christmas over the years. And what we did with it." Bungo pauses for a second. "I see that women's underwear is probably not a good gift for a gay man. But there's no need to get so upset."

Belladonna rolls her eyes and pats her son's curly head. Her husband can be a little slow sometimes. "I don't think he appreciated the image of his mother wearing lingerie."

"Oh." Bungo shuffles his feet awkwardly. "Maybe I shouldn't have told him about that one time we had sex in the kitchen. That seemed to have pushed him over the edge." His wife glances at him with a sly smile playing on her lips. "That one time? Which one time? We had sex in the kitchen more than once."

Bilbo opens his eyes and flips onto his back, catching his parents throwing each other suggestive looks. He scrambles off the bed with a huff which brings Belladonna and Bungo out of their love filled stupor. With an _"Excuse me while I go puke my brains out" _Bilbo runs out of the room, hoping that his parents will have the decency to move out of his childhood bedroom before they engage in any sexual activities.

He doesn't even care that he still doesn't know what to get Thorin for Christmas. First he will have to overcome the trauma he just received at the hands of his parents.


	6. Chapter 6

**Merry Christmas to you all!  
><strong>

**I wanted to get this chapter up on Christmas day. I just got done with it five minutes today and Christmas Day is actually already over where I live. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, especially the ending. If I get time and ideas over the next couple of days, I might actually rewrite it. ****I haven't proof read it yet either. B****ut I wanted to get it out there for you guys to enjoy as a Christmas treat. **

**Warning: SMUT**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**24 December 2007**

In the end, Bilbo does not find the perfect Christmas gift for Thorin. Till the last minute he waits for the flash of inspiration to hit. Instead he is overcome by a huge wave of disappointment. This is supposed to be the perfect Christmas and he failed before it even begins. Over the last four weeks he raided every shop in the city, browsed hundreds of websites online and asked every person available for ideas. And he came up with nothing. In the end he walked into a random shop and purchased a tie, socks and a package of boxer shorts so that Thorin would at least have something to unwrap Christmas morning. But Bilbo is in no way pleased.

It is Christmas Eve and he is sitting at the kitchen table, absently drawing patterns into the flour he used for his baking earlier. The entire table is covered in the white powder, cookie cutters in all shapes and sizes are scattered around him. He is supposed to be cleaning.

Instead Bilbo just sits and stares at the Christmas tree he and Thorin set up in the living room a couple of weeks ago. He had insisted on the tree even though he knew that they would spend the holiday with his parents and Thorin's family. After dragging it inside, with Bilbo fussing about the needles getting everywhere and chasing Thorin and the tree with the vacuum cleaner, they had spent the afternoon decorating it together. Looking at the tree, one can tell that Thorin does not have much experience with decorating one. While the decorations on the bottom half of the tree were all equally distributed, the upper branches that Bilbo couldn't reach, were bare in some places while overflowing with decorations in others. In the end, Thorin had lifted the shorter man up to place the red star on the top. Bilbo had never seen a more beautiful Christmas tree.

But now, having stared at it for the last thirty minutes from his perch in the kitchen, it makes him unreasonably sad. Sitting under the tree are all the presents he wrapped over the last couple of weeks. The toy for Fili, his mother's new shopping basket, the gardening tools for his father. The biscuits for the Durin family were all put in little paper bags and are now sitting on the dining room table, all ready for tomorrow.

When Bilbo had wriggled under the tree to retrieve Bofur's socks before meeting the man for lunch yesterday, he had found some neatly wrapped presents with his name on them. In Thorin's handwriting. Bilbo almost started crying right then and there. He is officially the worst boyfriend ever.

He groans and drops his head onto the table top, not caring that he is getting flour and leftover dough stuck in his hair.

Thorin enters the kitchen, freshly showered, finely dressed and ready to go. The tall man frowns when he discovers that the kitchen is still a mess and Bilbo has not made a move to clean it up like he said he would and is instead slumped in one of the chairs, his forehead resting on the dirty table. He slowly approaches his lover, tapping the table top with his finger to get Bilbo's attention.

The curly-haired man lifts his head, which seems to cause great effort, and blinks up at him, his eyes slightly red, the rest of his face puffy and with smudges of flour here and there.

Thorin scrutinises him for a second before lifting a hand to rest against Bilbo's forehead as he kneels in front of him. The shorter man closes his eyes to avoid his lover's intense gaze. He feels Thorin's large hand wander from his forehead to his left cheek and then down to his throat. When the other man taps his shoulder, Bilbo reluctantly opens his eyes and meets Thorin's concerned expression.

_"Are you feeling ill?"_ The taller man asks and presses his hand against Bilbo's face once more. He only gets a head shake in response. It takes a bit of coaxing to get the curly-haired man to acknowledge him properly. Bilbo looks up at him with such a crestfallen expression that Thorin fears the worst. Not that he really knows what that would be. He gives his partner an encouraging peck on the lips. But that does not really improve their situation because suddenly big tears are rolling down Bilbo's cheeks.

_"I'm sorry," _he signs shakily. _"I'm terrible. Don't hate me."_ He chokes out a sob. Thorin stars at him, disbelieve written across his entire face. He wraps his arms around the short man as Bilbo starts to sob harder.

"Bilbo," Thorin murmurs into his lover's soft curls. He has absolutely no idea what has gotten Bilbo so upset. He was fine an hour ago. Well, maybe not exactly fine now that Thorin thinks about it. His partner has been suspiciously non-talkative all day. But he put that down to stress and fatigue. Bilbo had been baking and preparing food for the dinner tonight and tomorrow for the last two days. But now the shorter man seems to be having a minor breakdown. His sobs are loud in the otherwise silent house and Thorin's heart is breaking a million times over every second the sobbing continues.

He rocks back and forth as he holds Bilbo in his arms and keeps murmuring his love's name into the dark blonde curls.

After what feels like a heart-wrenching eternity to Thorin, Bilbo's sobs become quieter and turn into hiccoughs. The shorter man rests his head against Thorin's shoulder as his breathing calms down. Now and then a shuttering breath still escapes him but the tears have stopped falling and he is starting to feel embarrassed about his emotional display. He lets his hand slide into his pocket to retrieve his handkerchief. There is no need to get snot all over Thorin's shirt. Although he will have to change no matter what. The button-down has become stained with tears and crinkled where Bilbo buried his fingers in the light-blue fabric.

The curly-haired man sits up and blows his nose, making sure to avoid his lover's questioning gaze. Thorin will just laugh at him for being so utterly ridiculous. And he'll be disappointed when he finds out that his boyfriend failed to come up with a proper gift idea.

Once his nostrils are free of mucus, Bilbo attempts to get up. But before he can completely detangle his legs, Thorin pulls him up and wraps him in another embrace. The shorter man splutters as his face is pressed into the broad chest of his lover. He can feel Thorin whispering something against his ear but refrains himself from reminding the man that he can't actually hear him.

It is not the first time that he has caught Thorin talking to him out loud. The other man seems more comfortable expressing his feelings by saying them out loud rather than signing. Too bad that Bilbo is deaf. He would really like to know what is being whispered in his ear every time they make love.

They stay embraced in each other's arms until Bilbo catches a glimpse of the time on Thorin's radio that is sitting on his kitchen shelf. He groans and reluctantly pushes Thorin away. They are supposed to leave in ten minutes to get to his parents' house in time for dinner.

Thorin notices his distress and presses a kiss to Bilbo's forehead. _"It's fine," _he signs. _"I'll call your parents." _Bilbo nods but before he can sneak away to avoid Thorin's unvoiced questions, the taller man gently grabs his chin and makes him meet his gaze.

_"What's wrong?"_

Bilbo shrugs. _"Nothing. I'm stupid."_

Thorin bends down to him and presses his lips to Bilbo's. _"You are not stupid. Tell me what's wrong!" _

The curly-haired man shakes his head and sets his gaze on the mess on the kitchen table. He really wants Thorin to let it go. But that is obviously not going to happen. Thorin cups his tear-stained face between his large warm hands and kisses him again. _"Please tell me!"_

Bilbo gives up. Thorin is going to find out sooner or later anyway. Might as well get it over with.

_"I didn't know what to get you for Christmas. I'm crap. I'm sorry."_

His lover stares at him for an entire minute. The curly-haired man gulps nervously. Then Thorin starts laughing. He throws his head back to release all the laughter that has built up inside him. Bilbo folds his arms across his chest and glares at him. This reaction is really unnecessary. He already feels bad enough but now Thorin makes him look like a complete fool.

When the dark-haired man finally calms down, he captures Bilbo's lips with a crushing kiss. _"Sorry for laughing,"_ he signs, his face apologetic.

Bilbo huffs. _"It's not funny. I feel like complete shit."_

Thorin shakes his head. _"I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at the situation. Because I had no idea what to get you either."_

Oh.

That changes things. They share a giggle.

_"Let's agree that we are both shit and leave it at that," _Thorin suggests. _"Go take a shower. I'll clean up."_

Bilbo pouts and looks up at him with big blue eyes. _"Shower together?"_

Well, they are already late. Fifteen minutes won't hurt anyone.

* * *

><p>"Thorin, dear, are you sure you don't want any more potatoes?" Belladonna asks and offers the man next to her the bowl. Thorin is almost afraid he will explode if he shakes his head. "No thank you, I am quite full." Across from him Bilbo motions for his mother to pass the bowl over before dumping five potatoes onto his plate. Belladonna turns back to Thorin.<p>

"So, has Bilbo told you about our family Christmas tradition?"

The tall man shakes his head and hopes that this particular family tradition does not involve more food. But most activities the Baggins Family call a tradition involve eating. He startles when Belladonna claps her hands together in delight.

"Oh, you are in for a treat." She pats his shoulder. "It's always my favourite part of Christmas Eve."

After dessert, which Thorin had to skip because he was too stuffed to eat even one more bite, they all move into the sitting room. Bilbo, scowling a little, is pulled onto the couch by his mother and Thorin sits down next to him, still unsure of what will happen next. He grabs his lover's hand and squeezes it. Bilbo glares at him as if Thorin is to blame for this. Whatever this is.

Bungo scoots down in front of the television and inserts a video cassette into the recorder. Then he settles down next to his wife and presses a button on the remote.

For a couple of seconds the screen stays black but then Bungo's voice fills the room.

_"Bell, what does the red light mean? Is it filming yet?" In the bottom right corner the date is set as the twenty-fifth of December 1982. A scratching noise can be heard and then a room comes into view. It is the sitting room of Bag-End. _

_A large Christmas tree is sitting in the corner, presents stacked in neat piles around it. Soft Christmas music is playing in the background. A young Belladonna enters the screen from the left, carrying a bundle of blankets. "The red light means you are recording," she says and pats the bundle in her arms. "Oh, okay," Bungo mumbles and clears his throat. "Here we are then," he announces in a louder voice. "Bilbo's first Christmas. Show him to the camera, Bell!" Bungo approaches his wife and the camera focuses in on the bundle in her arms. A tiny face is nestled in the patchwork blanket. Rosy cheeks, slightly pursed lips and a button nose. The baby is sleeping peacefully, unaware of the excitement around him. "Isn't he beautiful?" Bungo asks. "Three months old now." He lovingly strokes his son's cheek. "Let's open some presents, Bell." _

_Belladonna chuckles. "Shouldn't we wait till he's awake, love?" The camera shifts and is set down on the table. Bungo steps into view. "Give him here, dear. I want to hold him." His wife transfers their son into his waiting arms and he starts to unwrap the child from the blanket hiding him from view. "Let's get you out of there", he mumbles. Belladonna picks up the camera. "There he is," Bungo says and lifts the child up. Bilbo is dressed in a red and green striped onesie, the blonde curls on his head already present, even at three months old. "Our son. Our little miracle." He presses a kiss to the infant's brow. Bilbo releases a yawn and slowly blinks his eyes open. His father coos at him. "Hello, love," he whispers. "Are you awake? Do you want to open some presents?" His son keeps blinking at him. _

_Bungo approaches the Christmas tree, Belladonna and the camera following him. He grabs a small package from the top of the pile of presents and settles down on the couch, Bilbo resting in the crook of his elbow. "Look, Bilbo!" He presents the wrapped gift to his son. "I made this for you." He unwraps the present and the camera zooms in on the object he extracts from inside. It is a cylindrical rattle with a bell surrounded by colourfully painted wood. _

_Bungo shakes the rattle and the bell rings out. Little Bilbo seems unimpressed and doesn't acknowledge the gift rattling away in his father's hand. Instead he releases another yawn. His father tries to get him interested in the new toy by waving it in front of his face. The infant glances at it for a second before his gaze wanders to the illuminated Christmas tree. Bungo pouts and his wife bursts out laughing._

_"Oh love, don't take it too hard," she says. "Give him a couple of weeks and he'll love it so much, we'll be covering our ears to block out the noise."_

_Bilbo is getting restless in his father's arms. His face scrunches up in irritation and he lets out a little squawk of distress. Bungo tries to sooth him. "Shhhh, Bilbo. Don't tell me you are hungry again already." _

_"That's our son you are talking to. Of course he's hungry," Belladonna sighs with mocked exasperation. "Okay, say goodbye to the camera, Bilbo." The camera zooms in on the baby's face before Belladonna turns it off. _

_The screen goes black for a second. Then the sitting room of Bag End appears again. The date is now the twenty-fifth of December 1983. A curly-haired toddler is taking wobbly steps around the room. "Bilbo's second Christmas," Belladonna's voice sounds from off-screen. "Such a big boy he is. Oh no, honey, don't eat the ornaments." Bilbo has wandered over to the Christmas tree and is now gnawing on a wooden star. "BUNGO!" Belladonna yells. "Get over here. Your son is eating the decorations." Bilbo, undisturbed by her yelling, wobbles on his feet as he reaches for another ornament. _

_Bungo enters the scene and scoops his son into his arms, wrestling the star out of his pudgy little hand. _"Yucky ornaments," _he signs to the boy. _"Let's get some chocolate." _Bilbo claps his hands in delight as his father carries him over to the fireplace where three large stockings are hanging from the mantle. _

_As he hands Bilbo a piece of chocolate from the stocking, Bungo spots the camera in Belladonna's hands. "Oh, you already started." He walks over and presents the child in his arms to the camera. Bilbo's left fist is stuffed in his mouth, chocolate-coloured drool running down his chin. He kicks his legs in excitement when he sees the camera and waves with his free hand. _

_Bungo wipes his son's face with his handkerchief and Bilbo tries to wriggle out of his grasp with a grunt. "Come on, son," Bungo grumbles. "We need to get you presentable for the camera." He finally succeeds in removing all traces of chocolate from the child's face and sets Bilbo on his feet. The boy toddles back to the tree and pulls on the ornaments again. _

_"Maybe we should open some presents," Belladonna suggests."Or he'll eat his way through the entire tree." She sets the camera down on the table and steps into view. Bilbo squeaks when his mother lifts him up and away from his beloved ornaments and into her lap. Bungo hands her a present from the pile. Their son huffs as he tries to escape from his mother's arms, his eyes still trained on the tree decorations. _

_Bungo attempts to divert his attention by stepping in his line of sight. _"Help your mama open the present, Bilbo." _The toddler's gaze falls on the wrapped box in front of him. He doesn't seem to know what to make of it. Belladonna guides his tiny hands and helps him unwrap the present._

Thorin turns his head to look at his lover. Bilbo is still frowning but when he meets Thorin's gaze, his features soften somewhat. The taller man wraps his arm around him and pulls him close. He buries his nose in his lover's curls and watches a two-year old Bilbo remove his trousers and pants before sitting down to get working on his presents, starkers from the waist down but still wearing his red reindeer Christmas jumper.

The Bilbo next to him hides his face in Thorin's shoulder in embarrassment. The dark-haired man chuckles and receives a jab in the ribs for it.

They spend the next two hours watching Bilbo turn from a tiny red-cheeked toddler into a handsome young man. Thorin especially enjoys seventeen-year old Bilbo with unkempt long locks, scowling into the camera the entire time, an expression so similar to the one Bilbo is wearing now.

The curly-haired man is clearly unhappy that, now that the video is done, his mother is getting out the entire family photo album collection. He detangles himself from Thorin's arms and stomps off to the kitchen to have some leftover dessert.

* * *

><p>"I love you," Thorin mumbles into the crook of Bilbo's neck. He is hovering above the shorter man, his arms placed on both sides of the curly head, their groins grinding against each other. Bilbo is working on unbuttoning Thorin's shirt. With every button he loosens, his breaths become more erratic.<p>

Thorin shifts his weight and Bilbo's old bed squeaks beneath them. Technically the bed is too small to hold two grown men but when Belladonna offered to get a sleeping bag and the lilo from the basement, they readily declined. Although Bilbo is a very lively sleeper and moves around a lot, they have no problem spending the night pressed close to each other.

Bilbo has succeeded in loosening Thorin's shirt buttons and pushes the fabric off the man's muscled shoulders. He lets his hands explore his lover's torso as he feels the pressure in his lower regions intensify. The other man runs his tongue along Bilbo's throat and savours the taste of the soft skin. He shifts his weight to his left arm and his right hand sneaks down into Bilbo's trousers and captures his cock in a tight grip. His lover's eyes roll to the back of his head in pleasure. Just as Thorin leans down to devour Bilbo's beautiful pink lips, he starts to hear an odd sound. He stills and listens.

He can only make out sighs and moaning. Neither of which are coming from him and Bilbo. There is also some kind of squeaking as if someone is jumping on a bed in the next room. It takes a second for Thorin to realise what exactly he is hearing.

The man beneath him grunts in annoyance and pulls on Thorin' hair. When he doesn't react, Bilbo pushes him back and sits up.

_"What?"_

Thorin focuses his gaze on the curly-haired man and shifts back to be able to raise his hands and sign a response.

_"Your parents...are having sex." _

Bilbo squeaks in horror and slaps his hands over his eyes, rolling back and forth on the bed as if in serious pain. Thorin lowers himself on top of him to keep him from moving and the curly-haired man grunts at the extra weight. _"Thanks for traumatising me," _he manages to sign after shifting around to free his arms and hands.

His lover chuckles and captures Bilbo's lips in a passionate kiss. The shorter man growls in protest and pulls away. Thorin pouts.

_"I can't have sex when my parents are doing the same next door," _Bilbo explains and readjust his pants and trousers.

The other man scoffs. _"You can't even hear them. We need to make some noise so I don't have to listen to them." _

_"I'm not having a sex competition with my parents," _Bilbo tells him and folds his arms across his chest. All the passion has left his body at the thought of his parents shagging. Sometimes he is really glad he is deaf.

_"At least get me off," _Thorin pleads, widening his eyes in a comic attempt at puppy eyes. _"I need a distraction."_ He grabs Bilbo's hand and guides it down to his still half-hard cock. The curly-haired man rolls his eyes in mock annoyance but complies. His hand slides into Thorin's pants and gives his member a hard tug. His lover sighs blissfully and closes his eyes, letting his forehead lean against Bilbo's shoulder.

The moans from the other room are increasing in volume and he tries to concentrate on Bilbo's thumb stroking his glans. He lifts his head and captures the short man's lips in a passionate kiss, running his tongue along the inside of his lover's sweet mouth.

Bilbo's breathing speeds up and Thorin can feel him get hard again. He sucks on his lover's bottom lip and Bilbo whimpers, lowering himself back on the bed with Thorin sitting on top of him.

The taller man grins and lets his hands wander under Bilbo's dark green Christmas jumper, sighing contently when his fingers reach the soft skin of his lover's stomach. Slowly he pushes the woollen garment up and, after parting with Bilbo's lips for a second, over the short man's head.

Just as he flings the jumper across the room, Thorin hears a scream from the other room. He freezes in shock. That was definitely Belladonna. Climaxing.

Thankfully Bilbo senses his discomfort and strengthens his grip on Thorin's cock. With his other hand he gets to work on his own trousers.

Thorin follows his lead and quickly gets rid off his jeans and pants, Bilbo's hand not once losing contact with his member.

Soon they are both naked, panting hard and staring into each other's eyes. Thorin shifts his weight to let their cocks rub against each other without crushing his lover's pelvis. He growls when Bilbo removes his hand from his member to sign, _"I want to top tonight."_ Thorin nods his consent and leans over to retrieve the lube and condom from the bedside table. He watches as Bilbo lubricates his fingers and rolls his hips in excitement.

The shorter man nods when he is satisfied with the amount of gel on his digits and motions for his lover to turn around.

When the first finger enters him, Thorin moans lustfully. Bilbo's finger are short and chubby but he still manages to reach Thorin's sweet spot, making the man see stars and almost lose control right then and there. A second and third digit are added soon after and both men are panting and moaning in anticipation.

Bilbo makes quick work of covering his condom-covered cock with lube while Thorin turns back around to face his lover before lowering himself onto Bilbo's throbbing member.

They both hold their breaths until Bilbo is completely surrounded by Thorin's heat. Their gazes meet. They can only read passion and love in each other's eyes.

Thorin bends down for a lustful kiss before straightening up and lifting himself up only to slam back down, driving Bilbo's cock deep inside of him. The shorter man places his hands on his lovers hips as he thrusts up to reach Thorin's prostate.

The bed squeaks beneath them and the taller man smirks.

"Thorin," Bilbo sighs and his eyes almost roll to the back of his head. "I love you, Bilbo," Thorin replies, breathing heavily. With one last thrust the shorter man releases his built-up pleasure, his lover following right behind him.

Thorin collapses on top of Bilbo, their breathing pattern soon matching and slowly calming down. "Merry Christmas," the taller man mumbles into his lover's curly hair. Bilbo grunts and removes the sticky condom, dropping it off the side of the bed, not caring about getting cleaned up. He slings his arms around Thorin and puts his head on his hairy chest, his eyes and body already heavy with oncoming sleep.

They are both deeply asleep when the moans in the other room start up again.

* * *

><p><strong>25 December 2007<strong>

The next morning Bilbo and Thorin are woken by an insistent knocking on the door.

Well, Thorin is woken by an insistent knocking on the door, Bilbo is awakened by the taller man's sudden movements as he is startled into wakefulness.

"Thorin, dear?" Belladonna's voice sounds through the door. "Are you two awake? When should we start breakfast?"

The tall man takes a couple of seconds to get his bearings and glances at his naked lover. The knocking starts up again. "Thorin?" Not very patient, is she?

"Yeah," he manages to bring out before clearing his throat. "We'll be down in half an hour."

"Okay, love. Breakfast will be ready by then," Belladonna replies cheerily before stomping away. Thorin lies back down and presses a kiss to Bilbo's forehead. The shorter man is still blinking the residue of sleep out of his eyes.

_"Breakfast in thirty minutes," _Thorin tells him and Bilbo groans. At least his mother had the good sense to knock and keep the door shut instead of waltzing into his room like a mini-bulldozer and yanking the duvet of his body like she usually does.

After a quick shared shower, to save time of course, Thorin and Bilbo make their way downstairs, the house already filled with the smells of bacon, eggs and waffles. Belladonna all but runs over when she spots them entering the kitchen and engulfs the two of them in a warm hug.

"Merry Christmas," she cheers in Thorin's ear before letting them go to sign the same greeting to her son. The short woman pulls them into the dining room. The table is laden with food. Eggs, both fried and scrambled, bacon, sausages, waffles, toast, a giant bowl of fruit, at least three different kinds of orange juice. Just a normal Baggins family breakfast then.

When Thorin's gaze falls on the Christmas tree in the sitting room, he blanches at the huge amount of presents that seem to have appeared over night. The four stockings hanging from the mantle, one with his name on it, are overflowing with goodies. Food is apparently not the only area where Belladonna and Bungo tend to overreact a little.

He is pushed into a chair and told to just go ahead and start eating. Being the polite guest that he is, Thorin waits until everyone else is seated as well, before loading some scrambled eggs onto his plate.

"So, Thorin, did you sleep well?" Belladonna asks from beside him and when he turns to look at her, he can see a large amount of mirth dancing in her eyes. He clears his throat awkwardly and glances at his boyfriend, who is too busy stuffing his face with waffles to participate in any kind of conversation.

"Um, yeah," he mumbles as he stabs a piece of bacon with his fork.

"All quiet then?"

Thorin tries to suppress a cough. "Yeah, well, I might have heard Father Christmas at some point," he replies and winks at her. Belladonna bursts out laughing, her husband chuckling along with her. Bilbo looks up from where he is organising his eggs on his plate, his eyes narrowing. But nobody offers him an explanation and he shrugs, turning his attention back to his food.

Once all the waffles, bacon and eggs are consumed, mostly by Bilbo and his father, Belladonna announces "Present time!" and she pushes her son, who is in the process of loading the dishwasher, out of the kitchen and into the sitting room. As soon as Thorin is seated on the couch, being helped along by Belladonna, as if he is ninety years old, the first wrapped present appears in his lap.

He blinks at it for a second before looking up and finding three sets of eyes on him, watching him with great interest. Bilbo is kneeling in front of the tree, his father perched next to him while Belladonna , to his great horror, is pointing a camera at him. "We have to keep up the tradition," she tells him plainly and then proceeds to tell the camera and an imaginary audience what is happening. "It's the twenty-fifth of December again. 2007. Bilbo's, oh my, twenty-sixth Christmas. Can you believe it?" She swings the camera over to her son who glares back with such hatred, that Thorin's fears the camera lens will break. "Still handsome," Belladonna goes on, Bungo translating her words for Bilbo to understand. "And he's got himself a boyfriend." She focuses the camera on the tall man sitting on the couch. "This is Thorin. Thorin, would you like to say anything?"

Thorin blinks at her. He suddenly feels five years old again, as he often does when in the presence of Bilbo's parents. "Um, hello?"

"He's a little shy," Belladonna explains to no one in particular. "Bilbo did a good job finding him. They are so sweet together. Bilbo, go sit next to Thorin."

Bungo manhandles his protesting son onto the sofa and dumps a present on his lap. "Oh, they are precious," Belladonna coos. "Just imagine their babies."

Thorin looks up sharply.

"Open your present, dear," she tells him innocently.

The tall man gets to work on the bright coloured wrapping paper, soon extracting what seems like a year-long supply of coffee. He grins. His addiction to coffee is widely known he always appreciates it when someone indulges him, especially since Bilbo does not seem to appreciate his love for coffee at all.

Speaking of which, Bilbo has unwrapped his present as well and is now staring at a giant container of tea leaves. Their gazes meet and they burst into laughter.

Soon after Belladonna turns the camera off, which does not stop her from gushing over the cuteness that are Bilbo and Thorin, and she and Bungo join them on the couch.

Bilbo assigns himself the role of present distributer and crawls under the tree to retrieve the gifts.

He hands Thorin one of his own presents, swallowing nervously and feeling like a loser again for not coming up with any grand gift ideas. His parents seem to have had no problems finding appropriate items to hand over.

Thorin scrutinises the slim long package in his hands. He can feel his lover watching him carefully as he removes the wrapping paper and then the lid of the box. The tall man bursts out laughing once he sees what is inside.

He lifts the item out of the box for everyone to see. It is a dark green tie with little red Santa Clauses and pink reindeer. It is the ugliest tie he has ever seen. He loves it.

_"I have no idea why the reindeer are pink. But apparently it plays music," _Bilbo tells him and reaches over to press a tiny button at the bottom of the tie. An annoying tune of "Jingle Bells" fills the room. Thorin does not waste any time and fastens the tie around his neck before he pulls Bilbo closer for a kiss.

Thorin cannot believe his luck when he also receives the most garish Christmas themed boxer shorts and matching socks.

He feels that the presents he picked out for Bilbo are quite boring in comparison. After unwrapping two packs of boxer shorts (navy blue and dark red) and warm woollen socks (not knitted by Thorin mind you) and as Bilbo is starting to sense a pattern, the curly haired man extracts a lovely cravat from the last box (because Bilbo doesn't wear ties). _"Did you ask people for help by any chance?"_ he cannot help asking.

Thorin actually blushes and nods. _"Dwalin. And my sister. And your friend Bofur."_

Bilbo leans forward and captures his lover's lips in a kiss. _"They are shit when it comes to gift ideas," _he tells Thorin. The taller man can very much agree.

Neither of the two notices the camera in Bungo's hand as they share another kiss.

Just then the doorbell rings.

"Finally" Belladonna cheers in delight and scrambles off into the hallway. Bilbo groans and lets himself fall into the lap of his lover. Thorin has no time to ask what is going on when a tall man enters the room, Belladonna following closely behind.

The man is not just tall, he is a giant. He is dressed completely in grey, even the pointy hat in his hand is grey, so are his hair and long beard for that matter.

"You are late, Gandalf," Belladonna chides him as she offers him a seat in the armchair near the fireplace.

The old man huffs. "I'm never late, my dear Belladonna, I arrive precisely when I want to arrive." His grey eyes, god in heaven, it is staring to get ridiculous, fall onto Thorin, who is unsuccessfully trying to hide behind his small boyfriend. The man hums.

Belladonna marches over to her son, pulling him off Thorin's lap by his ear. _"Go greet your godfather," _she orders him. _"He came all this way to see you. Show him some gratitude."_

Bilbo stumbles over to the old man, who gets to his feet faster than Thorin thought possible for a person his age, and engulfs his godson in a warm embrace. The short man seems to get swallowed whole by the grey robes Gandalf is wearing.

They exchange quick greetings and then Gandalf gets right down to business. _"Who's your friend, Bilbo?"_

Bilbo rolls his eyes. _"You know exactly who he is. That's Thorin, my boyfriend."_

"Ah, the famous Thorin," Gandalf exclaims in a booming voice, turning to the man in question.

Thorin swallows. He feels highly intimidated by the man's sheer size. Thorin himself is not a small man but compared to Gandalf he probably looks like a dwarf.

Not that the old man is large in every way. He seems to be quite skinny underneath those massive pieces of clothing but he is over a head taller than Thorin's six feet and one inch.

"Good morning," he mumbles, not knowing what else to say.

"What do you mean?" Gandalf asks him. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

"Um, all of them at once I guess?" Thorin's response sounds more like a question than anything else.

Belladonna saves him from more awkwardness as she forces Gandalf to come and have breakfast as he must be starved from his long journey.

Thorin and Bilbo are left in the living room as the shorter man's parents and Gandalf disappear in the kitchen.

_"Well, now you have pretty much met my entire family," _Bilbo tells his lover, pulling on the man's ugly tie to make him lean down for a kiss.

_"I'm surprised you managed to stay sane with these people around you," _Thorin replies, kissing him again.

But he secretly to admits that Belladonna, Bungo and Gandalf are nothing compared to his own family.

* * *

><p>Durin family parties tend to be loud and messy. This one promises to be no different.<p>

When Thorin and Bilbo arrive at Di and Vili's house, none of the other guests have arrived yet, mostly due to Bilbo's avid punctuality and the habitual lateness of everyone else.

Fili is very excited to see his uncles, pulling them into the living room before they even managed to take off their coats. He shows off his new toys and then squeals in delight when Bilbo hands him another present. Wrapping paper is flying through the air three seconds later.

"Moo," the toddler announces proudly as he pulls a wooden cow from the box. Thorin watches with fascination as Bilbo proceeds to teach Fili the sign of every animal included in the set.

"Nice tie," his sister drawls from behind him and the tall man turns to look at her. She is pointedly staring at the tie wrapped around his neck. Thorin lifts it up and inspects it himself as if seeing it for the first time.

"It's the tie I always wanted," he tells her. "Bilbo is brilliant. It even plays music." He pushes the button and "Jingle Bells" starts playing. Fili looks up from his animals to find the source of the catchy tune.

"Unca To pway music," he states delightedly, crawling closer to inspect the tie.

Then the doorbell rings and soon the room is filled with people.

Bilbo is a little overwhelmed as Thorin introduces him to his relatives. There is Gloin and his wife and children, his brother Oin, and Bilbo cannot remember if there is also a wife involved or not, Dain and his family, and many more and he won't even bother to remember their names or attempt to understand how all these people are related. He just smiles politely as he is introduced and then watches as the others awkwardly shift around because they feel obligated to make small talk but have no idea how to do so with a deaf man.

That is something Bilbo is very used to. He doesn't blame the other people for feeling awkward around him or seeking out the company of someone other than him. But sometimes he cannot help but feel left-out. But usually he prefers solitude to social gatherings anyway.

His spirits lift considerably when he spots his friend Ori and Dwalin entering the room. As Fili is busy being coddled by his relatives and Thorin is occupied with catching up with his cousins or whatever they are, Ori and Dwalin are the only people he really knows and can actually communicate with.

After supplying themselves with beer and Dwalin is pulled into the crowd by his relatives, Bilbo and Ori sit down on one of the sofas, playing the role of outcasts perfectly.

_"So, did Dwalin manage to get you some decent presents?" _the curly-haired man asks, turning to his friend.

Ori nods eagerly and takes a sip from his drink before setting it down on the little end table next to the sofa. _"He got me some great books. I can't wait to read them."_ His expression changes from delight to confusion. _"But there were also some really odd presents." _

Bilbo raises his eyebrows and tries to suppress the grin that is threatening to take over his face.

_"I have no idea why he thought I would want pink oven-gloves," _Ori explains, clearly flustered. "_The ones I have are totally fine. And pink doesn't go well with the rest of my kitchen." _His friend nods in understanding, mentally picturing Dwalin searching the shops for the recommended gift.

_"And he got me a matching apron to go with them."_

Bilbo fails to hide his snort, almost toppling off the couch as he loses his balance. Ori can grab his arm and pull him back before his curly-haired head gets smashed into the hardwood floor.

_"But the sex was amazing," _Ori goes on once Bilbo has re-established his proper position on the sofa, still chuckling. _"And the apron and oven-gloves might have been involved."_

His friend is now howling with laughter, making several people in the room turn their heads to watch him curiously.

Bilbo's amusement dies down when dinner is served. The Durin family is obviously unaware of any table manners. Do they even know what silverware is meant for?

There is food throwing, drink spitting, and burping. Oin, at least Bilbo thinks it is Oin, climbs onto the table at some point to pass a round of drinks around. All Bilbo can do is protecting his meal from getting stepped on, while wondering how Fili and the other children, all of them at least seven years older than the toddler, are ever going to learn how to function in society with these rambunctious and wild adults as parents and extended family.

He is glad, when he looks at Ori, who is sitting next to him, that the other man appears to be just as traumatised as himself.

* * *

><p>Dis looks around the living room. Fili was supposed to be in bed over an hour ago but the constant interaction with their guests made her lose track of time. She excuses herself and leaves her husband and cousins to fend for themselves for half an hour. She spots her son tugged away in a corner, hovering over some complex Lego Duplo structure. He is not alone. As Dis comes closer, she finds Bilbo sitting next to him, both of them so immerged in their construction planning that they don't notice her approaching. The curly-haired man looks up and acknowledges her presence with a smile when she kneels down next to him.<p>

"Ma," Fili greets her. "Unca Biwbo build house. Big house." He gestures to the colourful brick construction in front of him. "House for anmals," he explains and picks up a wooden cow that came with the set Bilbo gave him, to make it walk through the door of the brick buidling. "Yay!" Fili claps enthusiastically.

Dis gives Bilbo an apologetic smile before addressing her son. "It's time to say goodnight to the animals, Fili."

"Night-night?" The boy asks and looks at her. "No night-night. No sweepy." Bilbo watches their exchange silently until he notices Thorin walking up behind his sister. "What's going on here? Private party?" The tall man asks and peeks over Dis's shoulder.

"A certain someone needs to go to bed," she explains as she tries to coax her son into complying with her. Fili only shakes his head and goes back to his animals.

_"Bedtime?" _Bilbo asks and Thorin nods. _"I'll do it," _the curly-haired man declares immediately and gets up from the floor. Thorin turns to his sister. "Bilbo wants to put him to bed."

Dis looks first at him and then at the short man next to her. "Um, he doesn't have to. He did enough babysitting today," she argues but she can see the eagerness in Bilbo's eyes.

"Let him," Thorin tells her quietly. "I think he needs some time away from people."

"Oh." Dis is a little flustered. "Is he okay?" She scrutinises the curly-haired man as he helps Fili put the animals to bed in their newly built house.

Thorin follows her gaze. "Yeah. I think it's just a little hard for him. You know, being at a party with a bunch of people and only two of them are able to properly communicate with him. He's probably bored."

Dis nods thoughtfully. She hadn't thought about that. "Okay." She should do something about the communication barrier. Maybe she could get Bilbo to babysit while she attends a sign-language course.

Fili squeals with delight when his mother tells him that his Uncle Bilbo will tuck him in tonight. He climbs onto the curly-haired man's back and after wishing every single party guest a good night, the two of them disappear upstairs.

It is an hour later that Thorin realises that Bilbo never came back down. He lets his gaze roam around the room but the short man is nowhere to be seen. He excuses himself from the kitchen where he has been helping his brother-in-law clean up and ascends the stairs to investigate. Maybe his lover was a little more unhappy than Thorin had originally thought and decided to stay upstairs and escape the curious glances of the other guests.

Not very sure where Bilbo would be hiding, Thorin chooses to start with his nephew's bedroom. He opens the door a crack and peeks inside. His heart melts at the sight. The room lies in semi-darkness, the tiny bedside lamp on Fili's nightstand is still glowing but all other lights are turned off. Thorin approaches the bed. His nephew moved from a crib into a toddler bed just a couple of weeks ago. Fili is fast asleep, his chest slowly moving up and down with every breath. Bilbo is lying next to him, just as asleep as the little boy, a picture book lies abandoned on his stomach. Fili is snuggled into his side and one of Bilbo's arms is wrapped around him. The other one is hanging off the side of the bed.

The space on the bed is very limited even though Fili clearly moved his stuffed animals to the corner of the room to create space for his uncle. Thorin frowns. Whenever he has to tug his nephew in, every animal is assigned a certain spot on the bed, not leaving any room for Thorin to even sit down.

Bilbo snuffles in his sleep and turns his head in his lover's direction as if sensing his presence in the room. Thorin kneels down in front of him and strokes the short man's cheek. But he knows that it will take a little more than that to get Bilbo to wake up, preferably without disturbing the toddler next to him.

Thorin presses his lips to the other man's forehead and then pokes his button nose. Bilbo releases a sigh and purses his lips. His eyes stay closed. Another poke brings the same reaction.

Waking Bilbo is one of Thorin's least favourite tasks. The man can sleep through anything and everything. His special alarm clock, that sends out a visual alarm instead of sounds, is completely useless in Bilbo's case. He recently got a wristband that uses vibration but he usually forgets to put it on before going to sleep. And, he admitted to Thorin, the vibrations seem to travel directly from his arm to his cock and give him a hard-on that won't go away without sex or a proper wank. But maybe that was just an excuse to get Thorin to have sex with him before work.

Bilbo keeps telling him to just slap him awake but Thorin is very reluctant to inflict pain on his lover. And hitting him when a child is present is definitely not the smartest strategy, at least in this situation.

Thorin keeps kissing his lover, occasionally poking him in random places. Nose, chest, arms, and, as a last resort, groin. That last one causes a reaction and Bilbo opens his eyes, blinking at the tall man hovering above him.

_"Time to get up," _Thorin explains and gives him a gentle kiss on the forehead. The curly-haired man looks around and he finally seems to realise where he is. He lets his lover pull him up into a sitting position, making sure that Fili is not disturbed, and then he stands up, rubbing his eyes to remove the last remnants of sleep.

They quietly leave Fili's room after turning off the light. _"Want to go home?" _Thorin asks as they are standing in the hallway. The other man looks completely knackered, his curls tangled, dark shadows under his eyes, eyes that are starting to fall shut again. Bilbo only nods and follows Thorin down the stairs.

He has no idea why he feels so tired suddenly, especially after his involuntary nap. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk as much wine as he had. But alcohol seemed the only way to survive the chaos that was dinner.

When Bilbo enters the living room, he realises that most of the guests have already left in his absence. He hides his yawn behind his hand and follows Thorin to wish everyone a good night and a merry Christmas again.

He can barely keep his eyes open as he puts on his shoes, not bothering with the laces and just stuffing them into his shoes. As soon as he sits down in the passenger seat of the car, he is fast asleep.

Thorin looks at his slumbering partner. Bilbo's head is leaning against the frosted glass of the window, his breaths visible in the cold air. He had hoped for some more Christmas Sex tonight but that is obviously not going to happen. They will have to postpone it to tomorrow. Boxing Day Sex then.

The tall man presses a warm kiss to his lover's temple.

"Merry Christmas, my love."

**The End**


End file.
